


Shameless

by orphan_account



Category: All Time Low
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4534575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moving from Lebanon to the U.S is a big change for Jack. And he knew he needed to keep the reason a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shameless

The plane ride to the states was too long and tiring in Jack's opinion. He was stuck in coach and not only were there screaming babies but there was this brat that kept kicking his seat. It had taken everything in him to not turn around and snap at them. He had no clue how May slept through most of it beside him. He had tried reading but the kicks kept breaking his concentration. Parents that never told off the gremlins they for whatever reason created always pissed him off. 

Fortunately they made it to their new home soon. Jack definitely noticed there were differences between Baltimore and Lebanon. It was like the atmosphere was different, unfamiliar. It wasn't home. He didn’t have his friends. 

When he had found out his dad hat gotten a job in the U.S Jack wasn't sure how to react. He knew what his dad had tried so hard to get a job in a western country but no one brought it up. People were definitely a lot more accepting of some things there (whether socially or the government). Not that his family wasn't but that didn't mean they weren't in the minority. It would just be hard for him to make new friends this late in the school year and with the barrier between cultures. What if he said something stupid? Or messes up his English in some horrible way? Or people make fun of his heavy accent? What if they're just not accepting of the weird, lanky kid from Lebanon?

May had told it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought it would. While he appreciated his sister's words it didn't really help with the anxiety he felt. He just had to hope history wouldn't repeat itself. 

For now all he could do was pack his things, thankful they had come in before his family arrived at the place he now had to call 'home'. It was strange. Being in a new room. Conscious to the fact he's in a new country. But his jetlag caught up with him and he was soon in a deep sleep. 

...

Was acting like he didn't know English a good excuse for not talking? Maybe he could act like he could only understand it and people will leave him alone. Maybe that was a little extreme but it could work. Then he wouldn't have to worry about talking to people. Although being a social recluse didn't sound too appealing either. 

He got his schedule and a map but there was no one to show him around so he had to figure out things on his own. The bell for first period had already gone so he was late as it was. Maybe the teacher will be forgiving. 

When he finally found the classroom he opened the door, trying to ignore his nerves. His teacher had cut off mid sentence and he felt everyone’s eyes on him. 

“Oh, are you Jack?” The teacher asked him. Jack nodded, kind of awkwardly. He could hear people snickering. “Would you like to tell the class about yourself?” she asked him.

Jack quickly shook his head, and thankfully his teacher didn’t push. He found a spare desk at the front of the class and he sat down. It was U.S History, which he knew nothing about, so he had no clue what the teacher was going on about. There was something about a tea party in Boston but he didn’t know what that meant. He was behind as it was so he had to try and figure out what the hell she was talking about. 

His teacher assigned some work for them to do, which was a question in the textbook. Jack would have to read it to figure out what they were even learning about. 

He read the question first, which was (surprise!) about this tea party too. He skimmed what the textbook said and he gathered it had something to do with the American’s being pissed at the British? A guy clearing his throat interrupted him. Jack turned his head to him 

“So where ya from, kid?” he asked.

Jack stared at the guy, debating whether or not to answer. 

“Uh, hello? Are you deaf?” the guy asked, snickering at Jack and Jack blushed.

“Lebanon.” He muttered, his accent thick on his tongue. 

“What was that?” one of the other guy’s friends asked.

“Lebanon.” Jack said more clearly.

“I don’t know what you’re saying. Talk normal.” The guy said as his friends snickered.

Jack rolled his eyes at the guy and turned back to his work. Looks like he wasn’t wrong about people making fun of his accent.

…

Lunch. Jack was dreading it. He had no one to sit with and he didn’t know where else he could go. 

His first few classes went okay. None of his other teachers tried to get him to talk and he was thankful. He knew people were staring at him and some rumour was going around the weird foreign new kid that probably didn’t speak English. Perfect. 

Someone beside his locker cleared their throat, pulling him out of his thoughts. He turned his head to see a boy. He was about his height and had short blue hair. He was also really cute but Jack ignored that factor. 

“You’re the new kid right? Jack is it?” the kid said. “I’m Alex.” He smiled.

Jack didn’t respond, just staring blankly at the boy – Alex- in some sort of attempt he’d think the boy didn’t know English. He didn’t want his accent to be made fun of again or get on anyone’s bad side. 

“Uh… sorry. I heard people say you didn’t seem to speak English… but I didn’t think that’d make sense because why would you go to public school and not know English… and I don’t know why I’m still talking. Sorry… I’ll leave you alone…” Alex blushed and Jack felt bad for making the boy feel embarrassed.

“I speak English.” Jack said, and the relief over Alex’s face was quick. “It’s not the best but I can, yes.”

“Oh, so you understood me sounding like an idiot?”

“It’s fine, I’m just nervous. New place and all.” He shrugged.

“What do you think of the school so far?”

“It’s… okay. Different. A lot of things are different.” 

Alex nodded. “Well, do you have lunch now?” Jack nodded. “Well, do you want to sit with my friends? If you don’t have anyone to sit with I mean.”

Jack smiled at the boy. His awkwardness was kind of endearing. “Sure, thanks.”

…

Jack followed Alex to the cafeteria. Jack was surprised to find out it was exactly like how it was in movies. He’d brought his own food because his mom his awesome. 

After Alex got his food he lead him through the cafeteria to where a group of people were sitting. 

“’Bout time Gaskarth.” One of the guys said, and his eyes fell on Jack. “Oh, you’re the new kid, right?” he asked.

Jack nodded, kind of awkwardly, as he took a seat next to Alex. He needed to calm the fuck down. 

“You speak English right? Everyone’s saying you don’t,” the guy continued, making Jack feel awkward all over again..

“He speaks English, Brian.” Alex said for him. “Do you think I dragged him here with my charm?”

“It’s not my business how you seduce guys.” The guy – Brian- replied. He turned back to Jack. “I’m Brian by the way.”

The rest of the guys introduced themselves. This included Tyler – who had purple hair so he guessed unnatural colours were a thing in this group -, Stephen, Will, and R.J. The last two seemed to be sitting closely and he could see they were holding hands under the table. He tried not to stare but it honestly baffled him that they were so… comfortable to be so open.

“So where’re you from?” Tyler asked.

“Uh, Lebanon.” Jack said

“Jesus, that’s far away.” R.J said. “Why’d you move?”

“My dad get a new job so we moved.”

They stared at him for a moment and he realised he fucked up the sentence. He almost hit himself because he realised but he said wrong.

“I meant ‘got’. Shit, sorry. My English isn’t perfect.”

“It’s cool.” Stephen assured. “You can speak more than one language so that’s one up on most of us.”

“It’s not the worst mistake you could make.” Will added. “Was hard for me to learn Spanish.” 

Jack shrugged but he was glad to know they didn’t care about his fuck up.

“What was it like growing up there? If it’s okay to ask I mean.” Tyler asked.

“Uh, I don’t know. I was lucky to not be close to places affected by the war, thank god. There’s definitely a lot of cultural difference.”

He didn’t mind too much with the questions. He grew up in the Middle East so of course people would ask what it was like. 

Lunch ended soon after that. It turned out Alex’s locker was close to his so they walked there together. 

“So what do you have next?” Alex asked.

“Uh, math I think.”

“Cool, I do too.” Alex smiled. “Do you mind if I… ask you something?”

“Uh… I guess.”

“Will and R.J… them being a thing wasn’t… uh weird, right?” He stumbled over his words. “No saying I think it did bother you but I couldn’t decipher how you were looking at them and I know the Middle East isn’t the best place to be gay-“

“It’s fine.” Jack assured him. He wasn’t wrong about his last point though. “I mean, it’s not considered normal where I grew up obviously. Like, it only became legal in Lebanon last year. Before that you would go to jail for a year. So it is a step forward. Although, it’s also technically legal for men to have sex with female animals so… not that being gay is like bestiality. You gotta do what you gotta do. Not like they could help it. But most people I knew were against it. Not me, but most people.”

“Are your parents?”

“They… were. But they changed their minds a while ago.”

“Why?” 

“It’s a long story. Maybe I’ll tell you one day.” Or never. He didn’t need to know.

“Well might as well tell you, I’m gay, and Tyler’s bi. And Will’s gay and R.J’s bi.”

“Damnit, I messed up the evenness.” Jack joked.

“Oh you did. We are out balanced.” Alex smiled. “Guess you can’t sit with us.”

“This isn’t Mean Girls.” Jack laughed. 

“True. I guess we can make an exception. Gay’s still outnumber the straights.” He said with a wink.

“Will you ever stop spreading your agenda?”

“Nope. I was born simply to spread my queerness.” Alex shrugged. They stopped at his locker since Jack’s was just around the corner. As he got his math book he turned his head to Jack. “By the way, I like your accent.”

Jack felt his cheeks warm. “Uh, thanks. You’re the only one who thinks.”

“It’s weird,” Alex began closing his locker and beginning to follow Jack to his locker. “I lived in England until I was seven. Obviously I had an accent. Funny how people liked it.”

“People like European accents.” Jack shrugged, getting out his math book. “It’s whatever. People always find ways to give others shit.”

Alex opened his mouth to reply only for the guy that made fun of his accent earlier slammed his shoulder into Alex’s from behind. “Sorry faggot!” The guy called, snickering with his friends. Alex simply rolled his eyes.

“It’s 2015 Derek! Grow the fuck up!” Alex called rolling his eyes. 

“Wow.” Jack muttered. 

“Yeah, assholes exist. Could be worse.”

Yeah, it could.

“Whatever. We’re going to be late.” Jack said and let Alex lead the way to class.

…

“How was school?” Jack’s mom asked when he got home. 

He shrugged. “Fine, I guess.”

“Make any friends?”

“I did actually.” Jack said. Alex and his friends were really nice. “I’m completely lost on the school work.”

“You’ll catch up.” She assured. “If you have trouble you could ask one of your friends to help you.”

He shrugged. He could ask Alex for help. 

He went up to his room. He still wasn’t totally used to it. It wasn’t awful; he just didn’t adjust well to different. And there was still a while until he would adjust. He wasn’t even adjusted to just how… open Will and R.J were about their relationship. Or that Alex didn’t seem to care people knew he was gay. Growing up in the west sure had advantages. 

All his teachers had given him homework and Jack was mostly lost. Catching up was going to take a while. It’s like his teachers didn’t consider he’d have trouble trying to figure everything out. He started with history, and he was lost after a few minutes. Alex had given Jack his cell number. Maybe he could call him and ask for help? He took out his phone and called Alex. He rang up after a few rings.

“Hey, why’re you calling me.” He asked.

“Uh… I’m totally lost on the homework.” He said. 

“Which class?”

“History.”

“Ah the glorious revolution. Want me to come over and help you out?”

“That’ll help out a lot, thanks.”

After he gave the other boy his address he rolled up in about ten minutes. He answered the door and Alex was standing there with his backpack, which probably had his own books. 

“Hey.” He said, smiling at him.

“Hi.” Jack replied. He lead him upstairs to his room and when they got there, Alex saw the mess of text books on his bed. 

He first helped him out with history. Like Alex said, it was on the American Revolution. Alex explained the history of it all. 

“Oh… so basically it’s the American being pissed off at the British and shouting ‘freedom?”

Alex chuckled. “Basically.” 

He helped him out a little more and until the abandoned the homework and settled on talking.

“So, did you have a girlfriend back home?” Alex asked.

Jack shook his head. “Nah.” He said. “I was seeing someone but that ended ages ago. What about you? Any guy in your life?”

He shook his head. “Nah, there’s no many gay or bi dudes at school. And the one’s there are, I’m not into.”

“Ah, okay.” Jack mumbled. “How do you deal with the shit you receive anyway?”

“It’s so rare that it’s not a big deal. Barely anyone at school cares. No one likes the homophobic dudes anyway. That whole thing where people thought it was cool to be homophobic has pretty much ended. So when people started to come out it was pretty much whatever.”

“Wow. That’s sure different to home.” Jack mumbled.

“Were any of your friends gay?”

“Not as far as I know. They were pretty homophobic anyway. Not me. But they were.”

Alex looked at him for a moment. Maybe he’d caught on or maybe he hadn’t. Jack wasn’t sure. If he did know he didn’t push it. They went back to homework and Jack was slowly starting to understand… well, everything.

…

The weeks went by quick. Like his mom said he was starting to catch up. He was becoming good friends with Alex and his friends. They'd accepted him as part of their group and were oretty nice. He was thankful they'd never made fun of him for messing up simple phrases or words, unlike some other people. Mainly the guy - named Derek - that made fun of his accent on his first day. He'd caught on no one outside his friends found him funny. He'd also found out he had History with Tyler and Brian so he had them to sit with. And to make snarky comments when Derek made fun of him. 

Out of the group he'd become the closest to Alex. It was like their personalities mixed well together. He'd helped Jack with more of his homework which a lot of help in Jack's catching up. And they would hang out like normal. It felt nice to trust someone again. He almost felt like he could tell him what happened. 

He and his new friends were doing the normal teenage thing and were hanging out at the mall. No different than at school Will and R.J were holding hands, recieving the occasional glare from a middle aged mom with her children but they along with the others laughed it off and made fun of them. 

"Guys stop, think of the children!" Tyler jokingly shrieked. 

"What about you and Alex? You guys need to stop existing! The poor children! You're going to corrupt this nations youth!" Stephen replied. 

Jack couldn't help but burst into laughter. Although the glares seemed so tame compared to how bad it could be. 

"It's not a joke Jack!" Stephen continued. "They're trying to recruit children in their sodomy cult!" Despite his effort, Stephen couldn't keep his straight face and burst into laughter along with the rest of them. 

When they'd calmed down, and seated themselves in the food court R.J turned to Tyler. 

"Speaking of sodomy, how'd your date with Michael go?"

Michael was Tyler's crush a d had been for a while. According to the others they'd been flirting for a while and Michael finally mustered up the courage to ask out Tyler. 

"Well first off, there wasn't any sodomy."

"Yet, at least." Alex cut in. 

"But it went well." Tyler continued, ignoring Alex's comment. "We're going out again tomorrow."

"Maybe that's when you'll sodomise." Alex said with a grin. 

"Do you have an off button?" Stephen asked. 

"Nah, he's just bitter because he's single." R.J said. 

"Not my fault there's no dating material at out school."

"Whatever." Brian said. "What about you, Jack? Any girls you're into?"

Jack shook his head. "Nah, no one's really my type."

"Chicks dig accents." Stephen said. 

"Oh yeah, girls sure do swoon over Lebanese accents the way they do over British and Australian accents." Jack said sarcastically. 

"I like your accent." Alex mumbled under his breath, Jack the only one close enough to hear. 

"Is this about Derek?" Tyler asked. "He's a dickhead."

"Whatever, it's not a big deal." Jack said. "Like I said, there's no girls I'm into."

He really should tell them. As if this group would care. But what if history repeats itself? Maybe another time. 

…

"You spend a lot of time with Alex." May noted one day. 

Jack shurgged. "We're friends." 

"Mhm. Just be careful."

"People are a lot better here." He said. "Two of the guys in my group are dating and no one cares." 

"It may be less common but it happens." 

"I know. I haven't even told them. Not yet at least. I mean, they won't care obviously but still."

"Is Alex gay?" She askes, breaking the Arabic she was speaking. 

"Yeah." 

"And how do you feel about him?"

"He's a good friend. And he's really sweet."

"Is that a yes?" She asked with a raised brow. 

"I just don't want something bad to happen again."

"Well at least tell your friends. Or just Alex if you want. He obviously won't mind."

"It's weird. I know he won't mind but I'm still too nervous to tell him. It's dumb, I know."

"Nah, it's fine. But we are in a very different place from home." 

"I know." Maybe he will tell him. 

...

"What'd you get for number 6?" Alex asked in their study session. 

"X's value is 11." Took him long enough to get it. Why did he even need to know this?

"I got 10." Alex said. "But we could both be wrong."

Jack nodded in response. "Hey, can I tell you something?" He asked. 

"Shoot."

“I should've told you when we met, but uh I'm gay."

"Oh." Alex replied, looking caught off guard by the new information. "Do your parents know?"

“Yeah.”

“Is that what made them change their mind about the whole gay thing?” 

“Uh, no. There’s a bit of a story. I don’t really want to tell it.”

“That’s fine.” Alex assured. “As long as they’re fine with it.”

“How’d your parents react?”

“They were shocked but they eventually came around.” Alex shrugged. “Did your friends know?”

“They did. I came out to them when it, you know, became legal. I told my parents before it was. When they did eventually come around, they were terrified for my safety.”

“Is that why you moved?”

“Partially. Don’t worry about it, I’m here now and it’s legal and more accepted.”

“It is, guess I’m pretty lucky. Me and the guys were friends for years before any of us came out.” 

“That’s fortunate.” 

“Yeah. Definitely helped the whole coming out process.”

“Wish it was easy for me.” Jack mumbled.

“Is that why you waited so long to tell me?” 

“I guess.”

“Well the guys will obviously be cool with it. You don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to but they won’t care.”

“Helps when most of the group is gay.” Jack smiled. 

“What was it like? Being gay in Lebanon?”

“Well, it was hard. I had to hide it before it became legal. When it did it was still hard. There’s still a lot of prejudice. Way too much. You know, there’s no word in Arabic that simply means ‘gay’. There’s slurs, but not a word for ‘gay.’”

Alex stared at him. “You’re serious?” Jack nodded. “That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah, I knew.” Jack sighed. 

“’Know.’” Alex corrected.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m terrible at tenses.”

“You do fine.” Alex assured. “You can speak another language after all. I barely remember Spanish.” 

Jack smiled at the other boy. God, he was so cute. His smile was perfect. He’d never really noticed it until now. And the way his dumb blue hair was in his face was just gorgeous; he was gorgeous. 

Without thinking, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against the other boys.

He’d never kissed another boy. He’d never really been able to. Alex was kissing him back and Jack let him push him on his back. Jack wrapped his arms around Alex’s neck and smiled into the kiss.

“Been wantin’ to do this for ages.” Alex mumbled against his lips.

“Don’t talk.” Jack mumbled between kisses. “Kiss.”

He felt Alex smile and continued to kiss him. Alex ran his fingers through Jack’s hair. Alex pulled away to press his lips to the corner of Jack’s mouth, then his cheek, then his jaw. 

“I like kissing you.” Alex mumbled against Jack’s skin and Jack smiled. He pulled away to look at Jack properly, but Jack saw his eyes land on his forehead. The forehead his hair was covering only to be swept away by Alex. 

“How did you… how’d you get the scar on your forehead?” Alex asked, worry in his voice.

“It’s not important.” Jack said quickly. “Let’s go back to kissing.” He grabbed Alex’s face and pulled him down, kissing him again. Alex didn’t kiss back this time; instead he pulled away and sat up. His eyes landed on Jack’s left shoulder. Jack’s shirt was slightly dishevelled and Jack could feel him eyeing the scar.

“What does ‘shaz’ mean?” Alex asked softly.

Jack sighed and sat up. “Unnatural, abnormal, deviant. Basically ‘fag’ back home.”

“Oh…” Alex replied. He was sure what he could say. It was clearly carved into Jack skin.

“It wasn’t that long after I came out to my friends.” Jack began.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Alex assured.

“No, it’s fine.” Jack said. “So I came out to my parents first. They didn’t like it. They were just… they were just awful. And what made it worse was that I’m close with my parents. Just the disappointment… it hurt. The illegal part didn’t help either. When it did become legal I told my friends. They… they didn’t take it well. They called me a ‘shaz’ among other things. And it spread through school so I was on my own for a while. Then one day I was walking home from school… and my friends attacked. They started to beat me up, just ruthlessly. Then one of them puled out a coke bottle and hit me over the head with it. Before he did one of them pulled out a pocketknife but I lost consciousness. That’s how I got the scar on my forehead. When I woke up I was in hospital, drugged up on painkillers. But I had a bandage on y shoulder. You can guess they’d used the knife to scratch ‘shaz’ into my shoulder. After that, my parents came around. I think they realised that after what happened they couldn’t be against me too. And that’s why we moved, for my safety. And that’s why it took me ages to tell you.”

Tears were running down his face. Alex was giving him a sympathetic look. Alex didn’t say anything. He just took Alex in his arms and he let Alex cry on his shirt. There wasn’t anything he could say. It had already happened, he could fix it or protect him. He wished he could though.

“Sorry.” Jack mumbled.

“It’s okay.” Alex said softly. “That’s just… fucking awful.” He felt like an idiot for stating the obvious but he had no clue what else to say. “It’s okay now. They can’t get to you.” Alex soothed, rubbing Jack’s back and kissing the top of his head. 

“Forget it.” Jack said sitting up. “Let’s just go back to homework. We kinda got distracted.”

Alex wiped Jack’s tears with his thumb. “Guess we did.”

…

“This a thing now?” Tyler asked when he saw Alex and Jack holding hands.

Alex grinned and nodded while Jack blushed looking down. When Jack calmed down they decided the ‘boyfriend’ label was good to use. It’s not that Jack wasn’t happy to be with Alex; his guard was just constantly up. He didn’t need to end up in hospital again.

“Called it.” Brian interjected.

“We all did, Dales.” Stephen said.

“You did?” Jack asked, raising his brow.

“It was obvious.” Brian said.

“We guessed Will and R.J,” Tyler added with a smirk on his lips.

Alex rolled his eyes. He pulled Jack closer to his side by pulling him by his hip with his free hand. He pressed his lips to Jack’s cheek. “Ignore them.” He said. “They think they’re funny.”

Jack couldn’t help but smile. Godamnit how did Alex do this to him?

“Oh so you’re a fag too?” A voice came. Jack looked over to see Derek. Jesus Christ he didn’t need him to ruin his high.

“Honestly Gaskarth, I know you’re a fag but why would you go out with a guy people can barely understand.”

Alex simply rolled his eyes but Jack couldn’t stand this guy anymore. 

“Go fuck yourself, Derek. Hopefully you understood that.” Jack snapped. 

The rest of the guys burst out into laughter while Jack just stood there with a smirk. Derek looked taken aback but let out a scoff and rolled his eyes.

“Whatever loser.” He said and walked off. To think Jack was threatened by this guy.

“Nice.” Tyler said.

“Weak asshole.” R.J commented. 

“Derek is like the least threatening guy.” Will said. “He just acts like an asshole because he think it’ll make him cool.”

Jack knew he was completely right. And he wondered why he was even threatened by this guy.


End file.
